Walking Home

I'm walking home. From a supermarket. It's rainy. Almost dark outside. I'm walking.
It's cold out here, and all wet. As a car goes by I can see my face with raindrops on it reflecting in the car window.
Looks like I'm crying. But I'm not. I'm just walking. Down the road, back to my house.
I'm thinking. I don`t want to think. What if someone asked me now "What's wrong with you?".
I would say "Nothing, I'm fine and smile for a moment". Then I would go on walking.
Probably nearly until the end of the long road, until the little park,
the little turkish fruit shop at the corner and the tram station on the other side of the street.
Then I would go around the corner, keep walkin maybe one more minute, until I'd see the little blue bell button that says my name on it.
I'm thinkin. What if i don't go there? What would happen if i just stopped walking? Would someone come and ask me what I'm doing?
Would someone see how cold I am and give me a big hug? Or would sooner or later someone just call the police?
I don't know it. I don't want to know it. I don't want to think. I don't know what I want. Is there anything I want?
I don't know. And I'm cold. I keep walking. I'm nearly there. On the other side of the road I see the little turkish fruit shop
and people running past with umbrellas in their hands. I just went past the little park. A few more steps now.
Now I see the the little blue bell button that says my name on it. I stop walking. I'm standing. Outside my door.
I'm home. Home? What happens when I go in now? It will be dark. Dark and silent. Who will be there? Who will say hello to me?
I don't want to know. I don't want to think. What would have happend if i just stopped walking?
Would someone have come and asked me what I was doing?
Would someone have seen how cold I was and given me a big hug? Or would sooner or later someone just have called the police?
I don't know. Do I want to know? I need to know. What if someone opened the door now and said hello to me? Then I would never know.
I'm walking. I'm walking down the road to the supermarket. It's rainy. It's dark outside. I'm walking.
I go in, do some shopping and walk home.